I just had an enjoyable evening with two of my best friends and they have been my friends for a long time. (Ever since about the 3rd grade) and I’m now 23. We went to see the Social Network and I thought it was a pretty interesting movie. At first I thought I was going to be really annoyed by it because the actor that was playing Mark Z. was really annoying and talking really fast and being really obnoxious. I don’t blame the chick for dumping him, but whatever. That’s not really what this blog is about.
This blog is about an old dream that my two friends that I spent this evening with had. And it was to open a youth center in our community. We basically wanted a place for the kids to go after school. And to be able to go for free. What little entertainment we do have in our little town does cost money and it doesn’t always appeal to the teens.
And so we set out to make this dream of ours happen. We even tried starting a committee and doing a fundraiser. Even looking at real estate. We were really excited, but it was hard to kick off the ground and it never really went that far. The local newspaper would not even feature the fundraiser because they basically said we were doomed for failure. That really ticked me off but that’s aside from the point really.
Talking with my friend tonight, he mentioned that we need money and influence to accomplish something like that. It kind of brought me down a little bit…dampened my good feelings.
Nevertheless, we still think opening a youth center would be awesome.
I also mentioned this idea I got from an acquaintance about opening a Free Store. Like the Goodwill Store where people donate things except the people get these items for free. I guess in an ideal world that would be great wouldn’t it? But I’m just not sure the world has enough love to keep something like that going without something bad happening.
And so I wonder…….where am I going in life and what can I accomplish? I feel like I should be doing something really worthwhile and bring some original ideas for the betterment of the world.
I’m also at somewhat of a spiritual standstill. I’m not really sure what I believe anymore other than I do feel like there is life beyond this. It’s so weird because I was a very dedicated member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I even served a mission and now I hardly go to church at all. I’m somewhat tired of it and I guess I first got tired of hearing the same thing over and over. It became somewhat numbing. My prayers even seemed like the same prayers and I never felt like I had anything real to say to God. I even feel like those spiritual feelings I had in my head before that I thought were conceived by the Holy Ghost were actually just feelings that I created myself….created sometimes out of the desperation for confirmation.
All in all I still feel like I have the same spirit about myself. That I want to help others and I want to be good. I want to find what I am really meant to do.
Peter the Knight's Blog 